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. . hardly know where to begin. Well, let me ask you this. Is anal sex a sin?” The priest gasped, audibly shocked. Clearing his throat, he said, “Are you . . . are you married my c***d? Well . . . uhmmmm. . . . whatever happens in the marriage bed is considered sacred in the eyes of the lord but . . .” “Oh, I’m not married but my boyfriend is. Cool, he always fucks me in the ass in his marital bed when his wife is out of town. Okay, on to my next confession . . .” “Wait, no, no. That’s not what I meant. I was trying to say . . .” I could barely contain my laughter. “Relax, pops, I was just k**ding you. I know that adultery is a sin. My boyfriend isn’t married. In fact, he isn’t even a boy. He, is a she. My girlfriend is married though. Do I get extra forgiveness points or whatever you call it because I’ve known her longer than she has known her husband? She and I used to fool around in college and we just can’t seem to stop . . . fooling around . . . if you know. The gem meanwhile, must have had some special bond with the table with the amount of attention she paid it. He smiled and said lowly, ‘Miss?’ She turned around immediately. ‘Oh,’ she said, ‘Did you need something.’ He summoned her with a finger. ‘I’m waiting on beer, but could I have a soda? I’m so thirsty.’ ‘Sure,’ she said nonchalantly as she walked by him with no eye contact, returning with a Sprite. ‘Thank you miss, when are you off?’ She turned a little pink, ‘Twelve, or whenever we’re done cleaning.’ It was now about 7:30. ‘What are you doing then?’ She raised her eyebrows. He thought he could see her goosebumps as she answered, ‘Why do you ask?’ Before he could answer, one of the two truckers screamed from the other side of the restaurant, ‘Hey, baby, you gonna take my order, or ya gonna be talking to the pretty boy over there all night? Guess you don’t want my money?’ ‘Yea, Lena,’ Jasmine the waitress comes out holding beer and a plate of fries. ‘He’s mine.’ The girl called.
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